I feel there have been so many changes that I've made in my personal growth in these last few months, that maybe it is time for a name change.
6 1/2 years ago I became a mother and thought I would be able to remember all of the memories we created. Fast forward to now and I can't even remember last week. I remember the big things, but not the little things that make up our days. Those little things is what makes up my life.
The new words that the twins have learned how to read. How M got over her fear of riding her bike, how C is saying a new word everyday. How T taught herself how to shoot hoops. I want to remember them. This is now.
Staying home and raising 3 kids all while homeschooling is no easy feat. God doesn't give twins to be parented by the fainthearted, much less homeschool them--together. While I'm not a single parent, I'm still the one doing 80% of the parenting around here, since I'm the one with them 24/7. It just comes with the territory. I'm totally okay with that, because this is what I've been led to do...but somedays we are in the trenches. Deep. I'm not going to hide it. What's the point? Why would I want to give the perception life is peachy keen and my house is always perfect? Uh. Not hardly.
We still have days where I count it a success that all three kids are still alive when I shut their door at night. Can I get an Amen?
There is more to this everyday life than just making it through the day-and sometimes trenches. There is purpose. There is purpose in the good, bad, and the ugly. There is purpose in the trenches. There is a bigger picture. There is growth to be had.
I want to live my days with intention. I want to go to bed at night and know that even in the midst of the good, and the bad days, I did my best. I have been called to do extraordinary things. I want to be intentional with what God has given me, and I want to remember the moments. All of them.
I want to spend my days more focused on my daughters' hearts than whether or not the dishes are put away. I want to feed their interests, and their self esteem. I want to grow with them. Everyday we have the opportunity to grow and change. I don't want to stay the same. I want to be an intentional mother. Focus on the now, today. This is it.
This is a process. I can't just make it happen overnight. I wish I could, but that's not the way life works. I know we're still going to have good and bad days because that's life, and it's a beautiful messy life that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.
I decided that I needed to document my days so I can reflect back upon them later.
I ordered this cute little Mom's One Line A Day memory book from amazon. I can jot down a quick line before bed about the most memorable and most important moment of the day. I really like that it doesn't need to be much. Short and sweet, just how I like it.
The next two things are a planner and a journal. My intentions for the planner is to write down the scripture I read that day that spoke to me the most. It's already dated, so I will be more eager to pick it up and write a quick note. The journal is just for anything else I need to write about. I'm TERRIBLE at journaling, but I have hopes that these two tools will help me to stay on course.
Back to the name change idea....
I've been a little skeptical of the name that was put in my head. I wasn't sure it made a lot of sense. I've thought a lot about it these last couple weeks, and the more I think about it, the more I think it seems fitting at this point in my life.
Intentional Erica
Give me some feedback....what do you think?
I would also really love to know if you journal and what you use. Anything specific to make it more fun?
Until next time..XO
Erica
