How Many Toys Should a Child Have?

It seems we have had rain every other day for the last two weeks. This has made it to where the kids are cooped up inside, once again. We need sunshine! The kids need to go play. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly thankful for the rain, we really needed it, it would just be awesome if it was spaced out a little more than this. Anyways, that's not what this post is about. 

Since my kids have been cooped up in the house it has come to my attention that the playroom that we spent time cleaning last week, has gone untouched. They have been spending time in their room, making it a disaster with books, blankets, stuffed animals, and building tents with their chairs that we brought up from the playroom. 

This has led me to the realization that they clearly have too much stuff. Those toys and games sitting in the playroom taking up space don't have any value to them. If they were of importance to them, wouldn't you think they would go play with them? Perhaps it's because they're in the basement? There is no door closing them off from the rest of the house though. They just haven't wanted to go downstairs and play. 

I've really been contemplating how I'm going to do this purge. What's important to keep? We did a purge in January this year and it was so wonderful, but there is still too much stuff inside this house. 

I want to teach my kids that they don't need a bunch of stuff to make them happy. I want to teach them to take better care of their belongings, something they don't do at all right now. 

They are good kids, but I want to help them grow to be amazing respectful women. My mom is constantly reminding me that they're just kids, and all kids make messes. I have two tornadoes. Things have gotten better, but I truly believe that when kids have too many things they can't take care of them all, or put them where they belong. It's overwhelming for them. 

How much stuff does your child/ren have? I have to get a good feel for what is a good maximum. We are on the road to more simplifying, it just takes a lot of time and sometimes the realization that our kids and ourselves have too much stuff just doesn't sink in right away. 

Share your ideas and wisdom in the comments below. I love all the advice I can get! 

I have a confession to make...

I have a confession to make. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has ever had these thoughts...

Before I became pregnant with Carly, my husband and I were not really sure if we wanted any more children. I didn't know if I wanted to go through all of "it" again. Out of my two pregnancies, they were both far from perfect. So I was a little scared to do it all again.

I had also talked to my husband about whether it would be selfish. I didn't know if it would be selfish to give our daughters another sibling, someone they had to share us with even more. I didn't know if it would be selfish to NOT give them another sibling to love.

And lastly, this is the thought I'm sure we have all had at one time or another..

Can I love another child the way I love the children I already have?

The answer is yes! Most positively yes!!! How could you not? Once you meet the face of the child you have carried within you for 40 weeks, it's an overwhelming love only a parent can have for a child.

My daughters were so ecstatic about their baby sister the whole time I was pregnant with her. It was so incredible to experience. All the feelings and thoughts I had, seemed so silly.

Having one baby this time has been such an amazing experience. I feel a deeper connection with Carly than I was able to get with my twins when they were this age. My days with them were spent just trying to survive. Going through the same motions. I wouldn't change it though, if I could. Those girls are so incredibly special to me.

I would have 20 children, but that's not really what I want to do. I'm still struggling with having a third child, and balancing it all. Things are getting better, but I have a deep desire to spend more time with my big girls, than what I can. I know in time, it will all fall into place.

I'm so thankful that I didn't listen to those thoughts that rolled around in my head. The, what ifs, the cost, the time and energy, the sacrifices.

For me, it is all worth it. My purpose in this life is to be a mother and to raise my children to know and follow Jesus. I can't think of anything else I would rather do.

Sometimes I ask myself why I waited so long to have another baby. But, I'm really glad I did. Carly has 2 big sisters who adore her, and are such big helpers. And to be honest, I really just wasn't ready yet. The Lord decided it was time though, and I'm so grateful for our latest blessing!

Carly will be 3 months old tomorrow, and they have been 3 fabulous months!!

I'm Not "Super Mom"

The twins are laughing and playing.

The baby is crying for me to rock her because she just can't stay asleep.

The kitchen needs to be cleaned, yet again.

There is laundry to be put away.

Laundry to be washed.

Toys on the floor.

Messy bedrooms.

Plants to be planted.

The floor needs vacuumed.

It's hard to not feel overwhelmed being a stay at home mom. Always something to do, something to clean, an argument to break up.

I find the only way to make it through is to allow myself grace.

Do I like feeling this way? No. Will there always be this much to do? Yes. Is it the end of the world? No.

This is only a season of life. Before I know it, my daughters will be grown, and I don't want to think back and ask myself, "did I care enough about the hearts and desires of my children, or did I focus more on the work they brought me?"

I have to allow myself grace, everyday! I'm not super mom. I'm not perfect, and neither is my home.

I have to stop and ask myself, what would I rather have, and what does God want me to have? Happy children, who are free to grow, have fun, laugh, love, and realize we don't have to be "perfect" in this life? Or a perfect home with children who don't feel free to explore and can't be themselves?

I do like order in my home and I do expect my children to contribute and pick up after themselves, but I also have to remind myself that they are only 4, not 9. It's my job to teach and train them.

We are not perfect humans, and we aren't supposed to be, so I'm not going to teach my children that they need to strive to be perfect. We are born sinners. It's that simple.

Who do I need to impress? No one. Jesus sees past my imperfections and my not so perfect home.

I'm thankful for His grace and love. He knows I'm not super mom, and He doesn't expect me to be. My children don't care either. All they want is a happy mommy, who loves them. They would much rather I sit and cuddle with them than my bed being made.

I'm reminding myself today to enjoy this season in my life. Even on the hard, messy days. I don't need to be "super mom."

What about you?

My no good horrible bad afternoon, and how I'm on the verge of a breakdown

This isn't going to be a pretty post. This isn't going to be an upbeat, encouraging, I'm so happy and love everything and everybody post. Not.even.close.

This is the story of my horrible afternoon, but I think its only fair to start from the beginning, sort of.

Today I'm 39 weeks pregnant. This last week has been a little hard for me, emotionally. I cannot believe I'm still pregnant. Everything inside of me told me this girl would have been here by now. We do not know her name. I have no intuition of what she will look like. With my twins I knew their eye color, hair color, and their names. I just "knew" all this. This baby is a complete mystery.

This past week I've really felt angry. Angry, frustrated, exhausted, every emotional possible. Most of all I've had these waves of anger. I feel angry I'm still pregnant. Angry I'm not enjoying any of this. Angry I can't sleep. Angry I have contractions every single day and I'M STILL PREGNANT. I get angry at my husband because he didn't wash the dishes and my back hurts so bad while doing it, but he did give the kids a bath. Angry I'm angry. Angry I can't just be me already. Who is this person?! I am not an angry person. I get so emotional, then I start crying, and then I'm fine. Again, who is this person? A hormonal pregnant girl, that's who!

Then I hear from people, and I know you all mean well, but I'm afraid some poor innocent person may catch my wrath when I hear next time, "you still haven't had that baby?" "You're still pregnant?" "She will be here soon, just be patient." Or my favorite, "WOW, that's going to be a big baby!" REALLY?!!!!! If I could of had this baby by now, I would have. Trust me.

Anyways, fast forward to yesterday. Our day started out earlier than normal. Warren was getting ready to leave to go help a friend, since he has been off 4 1/2 days in the last week and a half. Yeah that doesn't help pay the bills, but anyways... Taylor came to snuggle up on the couch with me, as soon as she got real real close, she vomits all over the both of us. Awesome. That's how every person wants to start their day.

She ran a fever yesterday and had some diarrhea, but didn't throw up again. Warren gets home and sets out to clean the snow off the driveway with his tractor. This resulted in me having to help him get everything we own with a motor unstuck...

I had my check up today, so I took the girls with me and my mom sat in the waiting room with them. Taylor had some diarrhea again this morning, but she was ok.

I didn't get any news from the doctor that I was hoping to hear. So yeah, I'm still pregnant.

Mackenzie wanted to go to a restaurant for lunch, so I decided to take them, just the three of us. Since it won't just be the three of us much longer. I thought we would go to Target afterwards so I could walk around, and try to work this baby out! Taylor didn't eat too much. I could tell she didn't feel the best. She had another case of diarrhea before we left so we headed home after that.

Are you ready for this part?

We get about 5 miles from home, and Taylor says, "my tummy hurts". I told her we were almost home, I was hurrying. As soon as I finished that sentence, I hear this awful sound, and the words, "she's throwing up everywhere!!!" I hit the side of the highway as fast as I could. I get her out so she could take care of her business.

The car smells horrible, there's vomit EVERYWHERE. Mackenzie starts crying uncontrollably. She has a gag reflex like her father. Can you imagine what happened next?

I grab her and get her out of the car. She had decided to take her socks and shoes off on the way home, so here we are, 32 degrees outside, she's barefoot on the side of the highway, vomiting because she got herself so worked up.

I put her back in the car, and she starts gagging again, so out we go again. This time as I'm holding her, I see Taylor coming around to the back of the car.  I about had a heart attack!!!!!! WE ARE ON THE SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY!! She could have gotten hit by a car!!!!!! Thank the Lord she didn't.

I get them back in the car, and they finally calm down enough we can buckle up and come home. I think those 5 miles were the longest ever. I cried the whole way home.

We got home, I bathed the girls, and then set out to clean up my car. I do not think it will ever be the same.

I did the best I could, put everything in the washing machine, came upstairs to get some ice water, and discovered our ice maker is not working.

Amazing. Simply amazing.

A 20 minute shower washing all the filth off helped some, but its still been a horrible afternoon.

It's evident this baby is going to stay in there forever. I don't think any amount of walking is going to get her out if these last two days haven't done anything!

I'm hoping the rest of the day stays puke free, and hopefully tear free-for me. I hope I don't actually have an emotional breakdown, because I can feel it coming on.

For now, that is my rant. And yes, I'm completely aware the baby won't really stay in there forever.

"You're a bad mom because..."

When I had the girls almost 4 1/2 years ago, I didn't have Facebook, nor did I spend much time on the internet.

I still don't know why I signed up for Facebook. I'm glad I did in many ways. I've enjoyed talking with some old friends, making new friends, but what I enjoy most is getting to talk with other mothers.

I've also learned a lot from certain blogs I have come across, but with that being said, I just have to ask:

Why are mothers so judgemental of each other?

I was 23 when I had my twins. I didn't know anything about being a mother. I came home with two little human beings that depended on me for their every need. I didn't follow a certain "type of parenting". We did whatever we had to do to make through the day and night.

Now I know there are different names for parenting. I don't even know all the names, nor do I really care. The one I see the most talked about is Attachment Parenting though.

What all does it entail? I'm not 100% sure, other than it seems you are attached to the baby all the time. You wear your baby, you co sleep with your baby, you only breastfeed, etc. These are all fantastic things, if they work for you and your baby, but if they don't, it certainly doesn't make you a bad mother.

I think the most controversial thing I see mothers talking about on Facebook pages is co sleeping. Some women have literally said to other mothers that they are bad moms because their child doesn't sleep with them.

Say what?!?!?!?! How does that make you a bad mom? How can another mother actually be that judgemental?

To be quite frank, I don't care whether your child sleeps with you or not. Why should I? I'm not going to think and more or less of you for it.

We tried to put our girls in the same bed when we brought them home. Lots of people said how much twins loved to sleep together. Our girls hated it. They could not sleep. We also tried having them sleep in bed with us, because other people said how great that was too. It was anything but great for us. They didn't sleep, and this mama didn't sleep AT ALL! How is that good for any of us? Does that make me a bad mother? I don't hardly think so!

Do I feel my children suffered psychological damages by not sleeping with us? Absolutely not. They are such lovers. We have always spent so much time snuggling, even when they were babies. I enjoy every moment. One day they will grow up and not want to snuggle with us. Let's just not talk about that right now...

My whole point of this and the sadness I feel is, why do we need to label parenting? What's wrong with just parenting how you feel is best for your family?

We have working mothers, stay at home mothers, stay at home fathers, work from home parents. We all have our own journeys we are going down, why do we need to add more judgement to that?

What did people do hundreds of years ago? They just did it! They didn't have parenting books, or doctors telling you what research showed. They didn't have hundreds of bloggers or the internet telling them they were a bad parent. They had their Bible and their gut instinct and thats what they used. What's wrong with that? Absolutely nothing!

Let's stop judging others because they don't do what we think they should. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and there is nothing wrong with that. But we shouldn't try to force our opinions or beliefs onto someone else. They are your opinions for a reason.

Our third baby is due to arrive anytime now. We will spend lots of time getting to know one another, and eventually figure out what works best for us. I can see her being completely different than our twins, and there is nothing wrong with that, because even our twins weren't completely alike, which shocked people. Every person is different, including babies. What works for one, may not work for another. That's another reason I don't like parenting labels.

Do what works for YOUR FAMILY!

How do you feel about this parenting judgement? I would really love to hear your feedback.

Why does time go so quickly?

4 years ago, I was trying really really hard not to have my babies arrive to early. They weren't due until November 9th, and I was on bedrest trying to prolong the inevitable..

I've done ok with the previous 3 birthdays, but for some reason, this #4 is creeping up on me and I'm feeling really sad. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, or maybe it's not. I can't blame everything on the hormones, can I?!

The days don't seem to fly by so quickly when you aren't thinking about them, but looking back at the last four years, it seems they have flown by. I wish I would have enjoyed them more. Enjoyed everyday more than I did. Instead of being so excited for the next milestone, I wish I would have savored the moment.

Since becoming a mother, I really understand why my mom and grandma always said I needed to stop growing up so fast! I remember hearing, "I'm going to put books on your head so you can't grow anymore!" Or this line my grandma always said, "I want to lock you in a closet so you can stay this size forever."

I feel the exact way about my girls. This age 3 has been the hardest of all, but it has been my favorite. They are very independent, but they still want their mama, all the time. They are the sweetest little girls I've ever met.

I love how they love so genuinely. They truly love everyone, and I'm grateful for that.

I never knew how hard being a mother was. To be a good mom, requires a lot of sacrifice and selflessness. I mean come on, your days of going to the bathroom alone are ancient history. We can't even do that in peace. I'd say someday's we are sacrificing our sanity.

With all that said, I wouldn't change a thing. I absolutely love being a mom, even on the hard days. If it weren't for the hard days, I'm not sure I would strive to be a better mom. Why would I need too if everything was always perfect?

These have been the best 4 years of my life! If they could stay 4 forever, I really think I would be ok with that.

In less than 3 weeks we will be celebrating their birthday. It will be so much fun just watching them!
I have to get busy deciding how I will make their cake. I want it to be delicious and cute. They've picked their birthday outfit out already and we bought invitations yesterday. They picked out some super cute ones. ;)

New way of dealing..with my 3 year olds..

Yesterday was a little exhausting. This age 3, is very challenging someday's. I have one child who is quite mouthy. She can be pretty hateful sometimes, and boy is backtalking one of her specialties.

As Warren and I were talking to the girls as we were putting them to bed last night about their behavior, I decided, right then, I was going to start making a list throughout the day of their inappropriate behavior, and when Warren gets home he can discuss it with them.

I'm not passing on disciplining them myself, that will still happen, it just gets a little tiring feeling like I'm doing all of it.

I made two categories; PRAISE, and NOT SO HOT. I felt like if I was going to write down unkind behavior, and disobedience, I am also going to focus on praising them too. Doesn't everyone like praise?!

My hope for this is that they will learn to think about their actions and words before they do them. Will I write down every little thing? I doubt it. This is just a way to keep their daddy involved during the day, and a way for me to step back and really focus on what's going on throughout our day.

Was it my mood that had an effect? Was it really their actions that deserved said punishment? Was I too hard on them, was I not hard enough? And quite honestly, sometimes mama just doesn't have the same effect as daddy does.  I am with them 24/7. They do know how to push my buttons..

So far this morning all I have written down is in the praise category!

Have any of you ever tried this before? Did it work for you? I'd love to hear suggestions!