A Little Love and Logic Testing

It's been a little rough here on the home front today. Those who have preconceived notions that a stay at home mom has it easy, or doesn't do anything all day, is completely and utterly wrong. This is by far the hardest job I've ever done.

I'm playing a huge factor in how these little humans will be in years to come, and sometimes I make huge mistakes. Huge. At least that's how they feel to me. You know, when you lay in bed at night while your husband is snoring next to you, and you don't understand how he can fall asleep in the blink of an eye, and you're laying there thinking about all the things you did wrong that day, or didn't do for that matter. 

No? 

Anyways, this isn't a pity party. This is just the truth for me. 

Today started out hard. Like, can I take a nap already and it's only 9:30am?- type of morning. 

I had to do some disciplining to a certain child, and that didn't turn out to well. Fast forward, maybe, 2 1/2 hours. 

The twins were in their room and they started arguing over whose jewelry box was whose. You know, important things. 

Taylor got upset because she said Mackenzie had hers, and I told her that she didn't. So this started in to her crying, again, because she didn't like that one.  I was starting to get annoyed by the crying, again. How much can one child cry in one day? Sheesh. 

I was sitting there trying to be rational with her and there came the attitude. 

Then it hit me! Love & Logic! I had been reading the book just yesterday and read some really good stuff. So I decided to give it a try right then. 

I followed Taylor to the hallway, where she proceeded with her crying fit. I said, "Oh Taylor, you really drain my energy when you act this way.  How are you going to put it back?" She said, "I don't know." through her tears.

I gave her some choices. She chose to vacuum. Score for mommy! I helped her get started. She was really happy to do the vacuuming for me. She vacuumed for awhile and said, "I'm done." I told her, "oh, my energy isn't quite back just yet, maybe you should do this rug too. That will help." 

Now this totally felt like manipulation to me, but I did exactly like the book said  to do. After a little bit longer and she had completed the task, I told her, "Oh Taylor, all my energy is back now! You did such a good job, thank you!" She had the biggest smile on her face and we hugged and that was that. 

Now I wasn't really sure if this "energy drain technique" really worked or not, since she seemed so happy to do the vacuuming for me. 

A little while later, after many many times of me asking her to make her bed, she still wasn't doing it. I then said, "Oh Taylor, your draining my energy." She immediately gasped, and ran to make her bed! I couldn't believe it!! 

I didn't have to raise my voice, or give her "the look", nothing. She's been her normal sweet little self since then! Shocking. Really it is. This may not be something that works every time, but you better believe I'm going to keep trying it. 

Not only did it actually stick with her for longer than 2 minutes. She enjoyed it, and I didn't have to get angry, or ask 7 times, which is what really makes me angry. 

So do I still feel like it was maybe a little manipulating going on? I'm not really sure. Was it better than a spanking? Oh yeah, definitely. 

Has anyone else tried this Love & Logic? If so, please share with me in the comments! I would love to hear what you have tried. 

New way of dealing..with my 3 year olds..

Yesterday was a little exhausting. This age 3, is very challenging someday's. I have one child who is quite mouthy. She can be pretty hateful sometimes, and boy is backtalking one of her specialties.

As Warren and I were talking to the girls as we were putting them to bed last night about their behavior, I decided, right then, I was going to start making a list throughout the day of their inappropriate behavior, and when Warren gets home he can discuss it with them.

I'm not passing on disciplining them myself, that will still happen, it just gets a little tiring feeling like I'm doing all of it.

I made two categories; PRAISE, and NOT SO HOT. I felt like if I was going to write down unkind behavior, and disobedience, I am also going to focus on praising them too. Doesn't everyone like praise?!

My hope for this is that they will learn to think about their actions and words before they do them. Will I write down every little thing? I doubt it. This is just a way to keep their daddy involved during the day, and a way for me to step back and really focus on what's going on throughout our day.

Was it my mood that had an effect? Was it really their actions that deserved said punishment? Was I too hard on them, was I not hard enough? And quite honestly, sometimes mama just doesn't have the same effect as daddy does.  I am with them 24/7. They do know how to push my buttons..

So far this morning all I have written down is in the praise category!

Have any of you ever tried this before? Did it work for you? I'd love to hear suggestions!