I have a confession to make...

I have a confession to make. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has ever had these thoughts...

Before I became pregnant with Carly, my husband and I were not really sure if we wanted any more children. I didn't know if I wanted to go through all of "it" again. Out of my two pregnancies, they were both far from perfect. So I was a little scared to do it all again.

I had also talked to my husband about whether it would be selfish. I didn't know if it would be selfish to give our daughters another sibling, someone they had to share us with even more. I didn't know if it would be selfish to NOT give them another sibling to love.

And lastly, this is the thought I'm sure we have all had at one time or another..

Can I love another child the way I love the children I already have?

The answer is yes! Most positively yes!!! How could you not? Once you meet the face of the child you have carried within you for 40 weeks, it's an overwhelming love only a parent can have for a child.

My daughters were so ecstatic about their baby sister the whole time I was pregnant with her. It was so incredible to experience. All the feelings and thoughts I had, seemed so silly.

Having one baby this time has been such an amazing experience. I feel a deeper connection with Carly than I was able to get with my twins when they were this age. My days with them were spent just trying to survive. Going through the same motions. I wouldn't change it though, if I could. Those girls are so incredibly special to me.

I would have 20 children, but that's not really what I want to do. I'm still struggling with having a third child, and balancing it all. Things are getting better, but I have a deep desire to spend more time with my big girls, than what I can. I know in time, it will all fall into place.

I'm so thankful that I didn't listen to those thoughts that rolled around in my head. The, what ifs, the cost, the time and energy, the sacrifices.

For me, it is all worth it. My purpose in this life is to be a mother and to raise my children to know and follow Jesus. I can't think of anything else I would rather do.

Sometimes I ask myself why I waited so long to have another baby. But, I'm really glad I did. Carly has 2 big sisters who adore her, and are such big helpers. And to be honest, I really just wasn't ready yet. The Lord decided it was time though, and I'm so grateful for our latest blessing!

Carly will be 3 months old tomorrow, and they have been 3 fabulous months!!