These are the days of my life

It's 2pm, I'm rocking Carly, trying to get her asleep. The 4 year olds came back a few minutes earlier to ask me something. After they made all sorts of ruckus and dropped what was in their hands, I finally got them leave. On her way Taylor whispers, loudly, 'mama!  her eyes are open!'

Ummm....ya think?!!

These are the days of my life.

Then a few minutes later, I hear them in the bathroom with the water running. I put the sleeping baby down, go to inspect what's going on. What do I find? Them washing the sand covered Barbie swimming pool off in the sink. M is wearing her new white high heels, that are now covered in mud.

Why are some moments so hard? Why do they always need to talk to me when I'm rocking the baby?

I will wait for the mud to dry and then she can help clean them off.

My husband calls, I share about the chaos, I take care of Taylor's boo boo. I go change a load of laundry. I do a quick sweep of the basement, and I start a movie for the girls.

As I come up the stairs, I hear the baby awake. She needs her mama again.

What does mama need? A minute to be Erica. A minute to not have someone who needs me, or something that needs to be done. I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming on this.

I love being a mom. I love my children more than life itself. I'm still just trying to figure this all out.

Things are getting a little better everyday though. Carly is sleeping more at night. I still don't get as much done during the day as I want or feel I need too.

She was 5 weeks old yesterday. It's already going to quickly. I knew it would. I knew what to expect this time.

I've got to not be so hard on myself. The messes and dishes have just got to wait. I'm not supermom. I'm just trying to make it through the day. One minute at a time..

This is the current state of my home, or kitchen I should say. Maybe the baby will sleep long enough I can tackle it?

The big girls are done with the movie already...here we go again.