Recently I have been going through some struggles. I'm sure to some they would seem very petty, but to me they were a huge deal. I won't go into a lot of detail about the issues, but they pertain to my daughters naptime & bedtime habits. Generally, my daughters went to sleep perfectly. These last few months however, they completely changed. They have started to distract one another and they would much rather entertain their Sissy than rest. This would be ok if it were just one day, but no, it turned into everyday. That means no naps, and we're battling them to go to sleep for 2 hours at bedtime. After 3 months of this, it has become incredibly exhausting and has begun to take a toll on me.
It's not just the fact that they have been battling sleep, it's also the fact that during all this I haven't had a minute to myself. I have began to be resentful, and quite honestly, not enjoy motherhood. I'm sure you're thinking, well my goodness, it's not that big of a deal! But to me it is. During this time, I feel I have forgotten to I am. I think, surely I've got to be doing something wrong? I used to be in complete control of my children, but it seems I have lost all control these last few months. I have felt like a crazy woman. I never knew having twins would make me question my sanity!
Yesterday I met this wonderful woman at Mardel's. She has 4 year old twin girls, and we chatted for awhile. I think in the few minutes we talked she encouraged me so much more than anyone or anything these last few months. God knew I needed to hear the things she would tell me and for that I'm so grateful. She made me feel completely normal as a mother. What I have been experiencing, is exactly what every mother feels at some point. If you never feel this way, well kudos to you then! But I can honestly say that this whole ordeal has made me do a lot of thinking. She said things that if I didn't know better, I would have thought it was me talking!
All I have been able to think about since our encounter was how things need to change. I need to change. I am my daughters teacher and I need to let the Lord me my teacher. I bought a couple books that will help me through this challenging time that I seem to be having. Just because I am a mommy and a wife doesn't mean that I'm not ME anymore. If I'd don't give me what I need, how can I give everyone else what they need?
Slowly I will get through my struggles, and through these struggles I have realized it's not all about the sleep issue. Although, that has put a lot of stress on me, but I know they will get back in routine (I'm blaming it all on Winter, hurry up Spring!) There is a lesson to be learned through all our struggles in life. We just have to stop for a minute so we can see what we are supposed to be learning.
Erica, I am so happy to have read this, I don't have twins and I have no idea how wonderful/ yet hard twins could be. My boys do not take naps if they are in the same room either and that does drive me nuts. I seperate my kids for nap 1 sleeps in their room the other sleeps in our room. Just an idea for you. As far as bed time goes from the end to nap and until bedtime they only get 1 movie (to my boys that is a sin) and we don't do the same thing every day 1 day we (Will and I) chase them all over the house for about 2 hours, the next night we go for a long walk, the next we go to the park (we live in an apartment so we don't have a yard) try doing different things before bed to burn all their energy off. Like I said just some ideas, as moms we need as many ideas as we can get, oh and pray about it fully turn it over to God (nothing is too small)
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