"You're a bad mom because..."

When I had the girls almost 4 1/2 years ago, I didn't have Facebook, nor did I spend much time on the internet.

I still don't know why I signed up for Facebook. I'm glad I did in many ways. I've enjoyed talking with some old friends, making new friends, but what I enjoy most is getting to talk with other mothers.

I've also learned a lot from certain blogs I have come across, but with that being said, I just have to ask:

Why are mothers so judgemental of each other?

I was 23 when I had my twins. I didn't know anything about being a mother. I came home with two little human beings that depended on me for their every need. I didn't follow a certain "type of parenting". We did whatever we had to do to make through the day and night.

Now I know there are different names for parenting. I don't even know all the names, nor do I really care. The one I see the most talked about is Attachment Parenting though.

What all does it entail? I'm not 100% sure, other than it seems you are attached to the baby all the time. You wear your baby, you co sleep with your baby, you only breastfeed, etc. These are all fantastic things, if they work for you and your baby, but if they don't, it certainly doesn't make you a bad mother.

I think the most controversial thing I see mothers talking about on Facebook pages is co sleeping. Some women have literally said to other mothers that they are bad moms because their child doesn't sleep with them.

Say what?!?!?!?! How does that make you a bad mom? How can another mother actually be that judgemental?

To be quite frank, I don't care whether your child sleeps with you or not. Why should I? I'm not going to think and more or less of you for it.

We tried to put our girls in the same bed when we brought them home. Lots of people said how much twins loved to sleep together. Our girls hated it. They could not sleep. We also tried having them sleep in bed with us, because other people said how great that was too. It was anything but great for us. They didn't sleep, and this mama didn't sleep AT ALL! How is that good for any of us? Does that make me a bad mother? I don't hardly think so!

Do I feel my children suffered psychological damages by not sleeping with us? Absolutely not. They are such lovers. We have always spent so much time snuggling, even when they were babies. I enjoy every moment. One day they will grow up and not want to snuggle with us. Let's just not talk about that right now...

My whole point of this and the sadness I feel is, why do we need to label parenting? What's wrong with just parenting how you feel is best for your family?

We have working mothers, stay at home mothers, stay at home fathers, work from home parents. We all have our own journeys we are going down, why do we need to add more judgement to that?

What did people do hundreds of years ago? They just did it! They didn't have parenting books, or doctors telling you what research showed. They didn't have hundreds of bloggers or the internet telling them they were a bad parent. They had their Bible and their gut instinct and thats what they used. What's wrong with that? Absolutely nothing!

Let's stop judging others because they don't do what we think they should. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and there is nothing wrong with that. But we shouldn't try to force our opinions or beliefs onto someone else. They are your opinions for a reason.

Our third baby is due to arrive anytime now. We will spend lots of time getting to know one another, and eventually figure out what works best for us. I can see her being completely different than our twins, and there is nothing wrong with that, because even our twins weren't completely alike, which shocked people. Every person is different, including babies. What works for one, may not work for another. That's another reason I don't like parenting labels.

Do what works for YOUR FAMILY!

How do you feel about this parenting judgement? I would really love to hear your feedback.