My no good horrible bad afternoon, and how I'm on the verge of a breakdown

This isn't going to be a pretty post. This isn't going to be an upbeat, encouraging, I'm so happy and love everything and everybody post. Not.even.close.

This is the story of my horrible afternoon, but I think its only fair to start from the beginning, sort of.

Today I'm 39 weeks pregnant. This last week has been a little hard for me, emotionally. I cannot believe I'm still pregnant. Everything inside of me told me this girl would have been here by now. We do not know her name. I have no intuition of what she will look like. With my twins I knew their eye color, hair color, and their names. I just "knew" all this. This baby is a complete mystery.

This past week I've really felt angry. Angry, frustrated, exhausted, every emotional possible. Most of all I've had these waves of anger. I feel angry I'm still pregnant. Angry I'm not enjoying any of this. Angry I can't sleep. Angry I have contractions every single day and I'M STILL PREGNANT. I get angry at my husband because he didn't wash the dishes and my back hurts so bad while doing it, but he did give the kids a bath. Angry I'm angry. Angry I can't just be me already. Who is this person?! I am not an angry person. I get so emotional, then I start crying, and then I'm fine. Again, who is this person? A hormonal pregnant girl, that's who!

Then I hear from people, and I know you all mean well, but I'm afraid some poor innocent person may catch my wrath when I hear next time, "you still haven't had that baby?" "You're still pregnant?" "She will be here soon, just be patient." Or my favorite, "WOW, that's going to be a big baby!" REALLY?!!!!! If I could of had this baby by now, I would have. Trust me.

Anyways, fast forward to yesterday. Our day started out earlier than normal. Warren was getting ready to leave to go help a friend, since he has been off 4 1/2 days in the last week and a half. Yeah that doesn't help pay the bills, but anyways... Taylor came to snuggle up on the couch with me, as soon as she got real real close, she vomits all over the both of us. Awesome. That's how every person wants to start their day.

She ran a fever yesterday and had some diarrhea, but didn't throw up again. Warren gets home and sets out to clean the snow off the driveway with his tractor. This resulted in me having to help him get everything we own with a motor unstuck...

I had my check up today, so I took the girls with me and my mom sat in the waiting room with them. Taylor had some diarrhea again this morning, but she was ok.

I didn't get any news from the doctor that I was hoping to hear. So yeah, I'm still pregnant.

Mackenzie wanted to go to a restaurant for lunch, so I decided to take them, just the three of us. Since it won't just be the three of us much longer. I thought we would go to Target afterwards so I could walk around, and try to work this baby out! Taylor didn't eat too much. I could tell she didn't feel the best. She had another case of diarrhea before we left so we headed home after that.

Are you ready for this part?

We get about 5 miles from home, and Taylor says, "my tummy hurts". I told her we were almost home, I was hurrying. As soon as I finished that sentence, I hear this awful sound, and the words, "she's throwing up everywhere!!!" I hit the side of the highway as fast as I could. I get her out so she could take care of her business.

The car smells horrible, there's vomit EVERYWHERE. Mackenzie starts crying uncontrollably. She has a gag reflex like her father. Can you imagine what happened next?

I grab her and get her out of the car. She had decided to take her socks and shoes off on the way home, so here we are, 32 degrees outside, she's barefoot on the side of the highway, vomiting because she got herself so worked up.

I put her back in the car, and she starts gagging again, so out we go again. This time as I'm holding her, I see Taylor coming around to the back of the car.  I about had a heart attack!!!!!! WE ARE ON THE SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY!! She could have gotten hit by a car!!!!!! Thank the Lord she didn't.

I get them back in the car, and they finally calm down enough we can buckle up and come home. I think those 5 miles were the longest ever. I cried the whole way home.

We got home, I bathed the girls, and then set out to clean up my car. I do not think it will ever be the same.

I did the best I could, put everything in the washing machine, came upstairs to get some ice water, and discovered our ice maker is not working.

Amazing. Simply amazing.

A 20 minute shower washing all the filth off helped some, but its still been a horrible afternoon.

It's evident this baby is going to stay in there forever. I don't think any amount of walking is going to get her out if these last two days haven't done anything!

I'm hoping the rest of the day stays puke free, and hopefully tear free-for me. I hope I don't actually have an emotional breakdown, because I can feel it coming on.

For now, that is my rant. And yes, I'm completely aware the baby won't really stay in there forever.